What must Mary be thinking?

I was listening to a Christmas choir sing last Friday and these thoughts entered my head. Could Mary have had doubts?

First an angel appeared to her (while she was unmarried and a virgin) telling her she'd been chosen by God to be PREGNANT. What would her parents think?

Just as she was getting ready to have the baby, she was told by the government to travel a long distance (for the census) at the time of her baby's due date! Surely God is in control of the timing.

When she arrived at Bethlehem, the baby was going to come! BUT there was no room! They were given a stable...with the animals. (we have six dogs, I would never imagine trying to sleep with them in the same room) If this was God's plan, couldn't God at least cause the baby to stay in there for a little while more till they got home? Wouldn't God at least provide a room for the baby to be born in?

After her baby was born, she was told to run for their lives! The king wanted her baby dead!

To obey God, she had to be torn away from her reputation, her family, her comfort, her pride and now she couldn't even have a home. She had to be a refugee! (I would seriously have some doubts at this stage if I were Mary)

Then everything seemed OK. Her son grew to be a lovely lovely boy. But when He became and adult, He started doing some radical stuff and saying some outrageous things! Some loved Him, Some thought He was crazy and some thought He was demon possesed! Can you imagine what the friends and relatives would say at family gatherings?

Then, the most unthinkable happened. He was killed as a criminal in the worst possible way! Imagine her pain as a mother and her doubts as a believer of God and His promises.

Her world must have crumbled when He died. All her dreams, all her expectations of how her Son woud save mankind. Everything she ever believed in...now...DEAD.

The 3 days that followed must have been really depressing for Mary. Just imagine! Could her head be filled with doubts? Would mine if I were her? Definitely!

He did say He would rise again in 3 days, could Mary believe that? If I were her, would I be able to find any faith left in me to believe some more?

On that Sunday morning,...the tomb is empty! He's NOT IN HERE! He has RISEN!!!'

'PRAISE THE LORD for the ressurection! Hallelujah! It's all TRUE! It's ALL TRUE!!! Everything the angel said was TRUE!!! Praise the Lord! My Baby, He IS GOD! Everythign He said WAS TRUE!!!He Has come to save all mankind!' YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How her joy must have been complete, how heart must have burst with Praise and Worship for the God who chose her to be blessed above all women!

~~

It really got me thinking...we believe God tells us to do something. Things don't go in the way we expect them to if we're 'blessed'. People judge us, family members talk about us, worrying about us. We doubt, we worry but...

Do we still persevere or do we give up? Do we harbour bitterness in our hearts towards God? Do we stop listening to and obeying God? Do we trust Him to know what He's doing? Even when things go wrong, do we trust His providence that He could make something beautiful out of it?

It's not easy to obey God. It's not always covered with blessings (as we see blessings). It involves sacrifices, misunderstanding from those we love, pain and sometimes our dreams crushed.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)