Grow up not just grow old

Our national director was sharing with us this week about John the Baptist.

As John grew up, God's Spirit gave him great power. John lived in the desert until the time he was sent to the people of Israel. (Luke 1:80 CEV)

John didn't just grow old. We all grow old..but he grew up. When one grows up, one gets wiser, one learns to think of the consequences of their actions and one learns to accept responsibilities.

I thought that's such a great point. Year by year. Time really begins to fly once you past the age of 15. That's what I feel anyway. Are we any different than we were 5 years ago? 2 years ago? last year? Have we grown UP a bit more? accepting responsibilites? growing wiser?

It's definitely a challenge for me. There are women older than me that I really look up to. Let me name 2:

Pastor Cathryn, my discipler. She's single, fulfilled, purposeful..full of conviction, yet full of love..you sit next to her ..you feel you are only living 20% of your life while she is living more than 100% of hers. you walk away thinking 'hey I want to be more ..more in love with Jesus, more effective, more beautiful :) and I can be' SO inspiring!

Second, Vinnie, the Alpha Regional Development Director for Asia Pacific. She's driven, strong, a mother, a wife, courageous, so effective and successful yet so kind and gentle, making a difference across Asia Pacific and when you talk to her, she helps you see you can do anything with God! She understands the hardships you are going through that they are valid, she encourages and she PRAYS.. she makes sure to pray before hanging up. and she's very beautiful too!

Time flies and if I'm going old, I want to make sure I grow up. and when I'm the age of these women, I want to be like them, not remaining the way I am today.

Lord, help me grow up every day..making the most of every day to grow..grow into the woman you want me to be like these women.

The woman I've become

'I'll never be like my mom' you'll hear most girls say. I said that once. but today I say 'I'm glad I'm becoming like my mom. She's a woman of honor and strength'. (I'm far from being my mom yet..not qualified but getting there slowly)When we were little, my dad would go outstation a lot and my grandma was somewhat a bully. My mom held a full time job as nurse who sometimes needed to do nightshift. yet she raised us well and the house so clean and every evening that she wasn't working, she'd cook. She would remember when our piano lessons were no matter how we tried to make her forget, in the midst of all that she managed to make herself look gorgeous all the time..I never thought it was a big deal, till now..

We have ONE baby only..we both work for Alpha Malaysia. They are great, they let us take turn working from home. we have a smallish apartment and my husband takes care of the midnight feeds and he washes the baby every day. I have a part time maid to clean the house once a week..so spoilt ah? yet, I barely have time to sit down anymore. When I'm at home, I'm always either doing laundry or cleaning bottles or cooking etc etc. and I get headaches because I don't get to sleep peacefully..OK OK I'm sounding really spoilt. but you know what?

that's why this blog is a tribute to all mothers especially my own. really I don't know how they do it...

watching Bree Van De Kamp on Desperate Housewives make housewifery look so easy..and she can still look so amazing..*sigh*...that's why TV doesn't always tell the truth!! I feel like a Lynette every day now..haha

I'm so blessed to have an incredible hubby and an incredible job, yet it's tough! To all the mum's out there....God bless you :) many times over..those who are not mothers..appreciate your moms

but in saying all that...I wouldn't trade my little Matt for anything in the world... Thank you Jesus for giving us Matthew. Thank you. A baby sitter would be nice too :) haha

more to life?

Was talking to a friend last week. She was asking my opinion about a job offer that would mean a relocation. After asking her a series of questions, I asked her what her life goals are. She was stopped there and I started sharing my dreams with her.

It reminded me that many people live day to day..day to day...and really there's no meaning to life at the end of the day.

I am so thankful to God that because he has given me dreams and goals that my life has meaning. I wake up every morning knowing what I'm doing and learning today will help me get to my dreams and whatever I've learnt and done in the past has brought me where I am today. My life is not jsut one life...Because I lived the way I did there will be people in the future who will be so blessed who will in turn bless others

My friend then said that it's complicated having goals and dreams and too many things to think about..but to me..it gives me excitement.

Why should we work? there should be dreams attached...why do we date? why do we get married? why do we have children? the more I think about these..the more excited I get.

Life shouldn't be boring or meaningless..i know this post is rather redundant because I don't know how to word the excitement in my heart. even in hard times, the light at the end of the tunnel is so exciting...ok I may sound crazy to some. but to others, I am sure you understand.

If life to you has no meaning...may be you should attend an Alpha Course..haha..yes..I work for Alpha..more than that..you should ask God to open your eyes and heart to the dreams He has for you...don't just live...Live To The Full!! Life's great and God has BIG dreams for me :)

All up to us

Was reading this this morning...

Background: A widow needs money to pay off her late husband's debts...

Elisha replied to her, "How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?"

"Your servant has nothing there at all," she said, "except a little oil."
Elisha said, "Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don't ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side."
She left him and afterward shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, "Bring me another one." But he replied, "There is not a jar left." Then the oil stopped flowing.

(2 Kings 4:2-6)

It hit me so hard. The oil would've kept flowing if she had had prepared more jars. The oil stopped the moment there was no more oil.

do we prepare lots of jars in our lives for the things that God wants to do in us? How much do we expect God to work in our lives?

Sometimes I look at other people who pray for people, people get healed. They ask for rain, God gives them rain. They ask for specific things and God gives them. God speaks through them, work through them and all. then I wondered why not me ah?

It hit me this morning. However much we expect and want God to work in our lives, is how much we'll get. It's all up to us how many jars we want to prepare.

Flight blues and God's thoughtfulness

We're back in KL! It was quite a journey...took about 24 hours to get to KL from KK..

• I thought our flight was on Monday morning at 7:30 am. Checked again on Sunday night and realised it was 7:30pm on Monday...haha


• They called us on Monday afternoon and said the flight was delayed till 10:15pm (we flew MAS by the way)


• when we got to the airport, they told us our flight was delayed till 3:15 AM!

I was unhappy just thinking how when we get to KL it would be morning and the baby would be up. That means no sleep for us. (sleep is very precious these days)

• When we got to KL at 6 am. Our boss picked us up and suggested we have a sleep at his place while his wife would take care of the baby! God is so thoughtful. We went and had a wonderful sleep (very much needed for the rest of the day)


• Got up, with our battery a little more recharged, set up at home and baby had a good night...

God is so good! Reminds me to trust God's thoughtfulness the next time I see a 'hopeless' situation. (those who are not parents won't understand how hopeless that situation seemed..haha..I know I know..I'm being a drama queen again...but still am very happy God was thinking of us :) )

Cried watching a Comedy

Tim and I always look for something to learn when watching movies. Watched Evan Almighty yesterday and God spoke to me about so many things I came out full of emotions, and had to cry.

For those of you who have watched the movie, how many of you ever felt like Evan when he finished building the ark and it didn't rain..and when it did rain, it stopped..I really felt it. Many times, I expected God to work a certain way because of some promises He gave me. and when everyone is watching and some mocking...it didn't happen..or at least not the way I expected it to. but then the flood did come for Evan..God was showing me how He really does come through for us and everything He does..is really because He loves us. That meant so much to me at the time...and even now.

When I joined a school with YWAM back in 2002, the Lord had promised He would provide for me..every cent. He did for a while and then He stopped...pretty much like Evan's rain. And then I went home with 'deb't (as I saw it). then the Lord provided me a good job and I paid it off. I couldn't understand it then because of all the people I knew from here who went to YWAM, the Lord did provide them every cent miraculously. Because I came back with 'debt' I got mocked. 'see...she trusted God and see what happened! She had better not tell anyone else to step out in FAITH like her' People actually said what I had was blind faith..*ouch*

I came to God one day and asked Him why. He then showed me through the story where the brook dried up for Elijah when God wanted him to move on. If I had had all the fees, I would've stayed with YWAM but God told me it was His will for me to come home after the school ended. God did provide every cent by giving me a job to pay it all off.

and many will not see this but this meant the world to me. At the end of the movie, when God said to Evan 'it's time to do your dance'. Nobody liked Evan's dance but God did. and when Evan did dance, God was so delighted! He was laughing in joy and God danced WITH Evan. Things in us that people don't appreciate, God does. More than appreciate, he rejoices over us. like a proud daddy...He rejoices over us.

Amazed- Lincoln Brewster

(verse 1)You dance over me

while I am unaware

You sing all around

but I never hear the sound

(chorus)Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

And how You love me

(verse 2)You paint the morning sky

with miracles in mind

My hope will always stand

For You hold me in Your hand

(bridge)How deep how wideHow great is Your love for me

I've heard it said so many times...but in this movie, put in context, I really believed it when God said 'remember evan...everything I do, it's because I love you'

well..there are a lot more things God spoke to me about but may be the next time you go to a movie, you may also want to ask God to speak to you through the movie :)

What Really Matters

Talking to a very wise lady recently..as I shared my recent struggles, she told me.. what really matters above all that we do or don't do is what you think about God and what you think God thinks about you.

That hit me hard. We can do so much 'for God', talk so much about God, blog about Him, fast and pray etc etc... but at the end of the day..really..what matters as Ps Cathryn put it is what we think about God and what we think God thinks about us. That to me defines our FAITH. Do we honestly have a true picture of that or a distorted one?

All that I have heard others say, all that I have found in books, all that I've written myself, seems savorless, dull, and heavy when compared with what faith has unfolded to me of the unspeakable riches of God and of Jesus Christ.

Christ alone can reveal Himself to us....

It is not enough to know God as theory from what we read in books, or feel some fleeting affection for Him that is brief as the wave of feeling or glimpse of the Divine that prompts them.

Our faith must be alive, and we must make it so, and by it's power to lift ourselves beyond all these passing emotions to worship the Father and Jesus Christ in all their divine perfection...

- Brother Lawrence (lived 200 years ago)

Practicing the presence of God